I grew up in a home where approval was abundant–probably because both of my parents were raised in fractured homes where divorce carved a permanent scar in both of their hearts. Therefore, they knew the importance of encouragement, and I’m grateful for it. But just because we heard encouragement while growing up doesn’t mean we don’t need it anymore as adults.

The Bible speaks of encouraging words as gold and silver: Proverbs 25:11 states, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. (NASB)” I believe we have the power to bless other people with encouraging words or curse with negative ones. One blessing that came to me in my early years helped to steer me forward into a music career.

It was Columbus, Ohio in 1980 or 1981, where I came in contact with a brilliant trombonist, and arranger named Stan Morse. He had played in several world-renowned big bands and had worked in television before he became the arranger for American Entertainment Productions. One day in rehearsal he leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You’ve got what it takes; your gonna make it in music!” Those words gave me the courage to endure in the ensuing years when, at times, I felt like getting off of the rough and tumble road of professional music.

I recently heard Rock and Roll Hall of Fame musician Chris Hillman, from the Byrds and other assorted folk-rock and country outfits, talk of the importance of encouraging words in his own life. He was in LA in the late 60s and had just finished a show at one of southern California’s premier country music performance venues. As his band was taking a break from their set, a tall, bear-of-a-shadow enveloped him from behind, and a large hand appeared on his right shoulder. Looking backward toward the source, Hillman was surprised to see his childhood TV hero, Tex Ritter, whom he had never met, looming over him. Tex said something like, “Keep it up young man, you’re gonna make it in this business!” Those life-giving words helped drive Hillman forward as an architect of the country rock sound that flooded California and the world in years to come.

I don’t know why some people refuse to encourage others. Maybe because they don’t want to seem vulnerable or “soft.” Maybe because they never knew encouragement themselves. I believe it is my duty to help others if it is in my power to do so. The Bible states in James 4:17, “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them (NIV).” I believe it is important that we, especially as Christians, give encouragement and mentoring when the opportunity arises. We will probably never know the blessing we deposit in the hearts of people when we are obedient to the opportunity.

Be a mentor to someone. There maybe a person out there today–and it maybe your own child–who needs your stamp of approval.

Is it just me or do you see the stupidity in this tax-free weekend mumbo-jumbo? Every time I go online to order something, I get it tax-free anyway, many times with free shipping. I shop Amazon.com often because I’m obligated. Last Christmas I signed-up for the “Prime” membership which enables me to get items with the special “Prime” designation including free two-day delivery. I intended to take full advantage of the free trial, but as most folks do, I blew it and forgot to cancel before they charged me almost $100. Did I save money? Only if I use this “Prime” thing and nothing else until this year’s Christmas.

I watched a 2007 Apple Computer documentary a few nights ago. Interviewed were several people camping outside an Apple store for as long as five days, anticipating the release of the first iPhone. What is it that makes people think they are getting an advantage when they lose five days of work waiting in some crazy line with a slew of other maniacs for a stupid cell phone?

The same goes for Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I tried to join-in the festivities one year but came away with only a few DVDs and a headache. Standing in a line wrapped around Best Buy at three o’clock in the morning is costly for me–very, very expensive–especially for my body.

Brenda told me she heard a rumor that Congress is trying to make online shopping stores like Amazon pay retroactively for all of the gazillions of dollars in unpaid sales tax. I say fine. In fact, I will be glad to make a trade with Uncle Sam and the IRS: If they are willing to discontinue income tax in trade for a consumer tax on purchased items, I’d be ecstatic! I bet we’d close the gap on the deficit in short order!

But no, things don’t go as easy as that. So the State of Tennessee ostensibly gives us a tax-free weekend (limited to certain products, mind you) at the end of summer to help families with back-to-school expenses and to stimulate the economy. I know the real reason is for the government to convince us that we can’t live without their generosity.

I’ll just continue to make my orders online and wait a few days for the big brown truck to squeal it’s brakes at the curb in front of my house. From computer to curb with no taxes–every day of the year–now that’s shopping!

How can anyone resist a song for the common man? Not like Springsteen’s characters, with young girls holding on tightly to studly motorcycle riders–hair blowing in the wind–tearing down Thunder Road. What I mean is a song written for regular, non-motor-scootin’ males like me…who have problems, too much weight around the middle, and who are over 40 (or over 50, in my case!). Fountains of Wayne is a band for the common man, and they write the greatest 3 1/2 minute odes to lonely losers of this world. Their records are filled with stories of the lovelorn, sentimental, stuck-in-childhood geek, still living in his parent’s basement.

If that description didn’t offend you, stick around and Fountains of Wayne will hit a nerve. I think they write these songs so convincingly because they see the characters in themselves. The band’s name–taken from a now-defunct garden center somewhere in the Northeast–suggests the absurdity that many of their songs convey. The band consists of members Chris Collingwood, Adam Schlesinger, Jody Porter and Brian Young. A quick listen to any of their CDs will reveal a mastery of the guitar-layered anthem, supporting a fine but “Wierd Al-like” lead vocal. Hidden in the background playing bass is probably the most famous silent partner in any band: Adam Schlesinger. Collingwood and Schlesinger are the band’s songwriters, but Adam Schlesinger has written for several movie projects, including the title song for “That Thing You Do.” He also wrote the theme song for 2007′s “Music and Lyrics.” Many of their songs make a cameo in TV shows and commercials. Not bad for a bunch of guys who would blend into any amusement park–kids and wives in tow.

The song “Stacy’s Mom” is probably the most recognizable in their repertoire, but it would be an insult to judge their range by just that one hit. They are masterful with melodies and craftsmen at turning a phrase. When you listen to both 2005′s “Welcome Interstate Managers” and the 2007 “Traffic and Weather” CDs, it seems as if one is led through a cinematic carnival ride, replete with charming characters, idiots, romance, clowns and sadness. I am so impressed with their ability to set new scenes with each song, using various musical styles, brilliant arrangements and artful instrumentation.

Just yesterday, Fountains of Wayne released a new project called, “Sky Full of Holes.” Instead of jangly guitars and 80s synthesizers dominating the sound-scape, acoustic guitars take a front seat in this set. The wry character studies are still present, and the dopy dreamers still grace the stage throughout. I just bought the CD, so I am becoming familiar with the songs. The great thing is that AmazonMP3 has the album available for download for just $3.99. I’m sure that deal will go away in a hurry.

For the average guy, this band has a knack for uncovering the bottled-up emotions that many of us bury and ignore as we get older. Unlike Springsteen, I can get lost in lost in a crowd like the Fountains of Wayne guys. I prefer it that way.

I was lying in bed Sunday morning, mulling it over in my head: why should I get out of this warm, comfortable womb to go to church? It took some convincing, especially after the trumpet music from the Sunday Morning show on CBS started to play that old familiar run of notes. It was safe there in my room; no hassles, full acceptance– and nothing was being asked of me except for my coffee cup to be refilled.

You see, for the greatest part of our married life, we have been “professional Christians.” That is to say, we have been paid staff members in churches. Over the years we have served several churches in Alabama, North Carolina and Tennessee. (I had my first staff position in California as a youth minister at Lutheran church in my hometown of Fullerton at just 19 years old). I have been a professional Christian for 32 years now. Frankly, I have gotten to the point where I have been asking what other non-professional Christians have asked for years: why should I go? A salary is a great motivator to get the professionals to church, but what about those who have no attachment other than guilt, religious duty, or to keep that family burial plot in the church graveyard?

I know that George Barna and Rick Warren have amply addressed the subject of “purpose driven” and “why do we do this church thing.” Still, in 2011, after reading all of the books, attending (even leading) seminars on church, I sat there wondering why I should even roll out of bed.

I have seen my neighbors cutting their lawns on Sunday morning as I peeled out of my driveway on the way to work…um, I mean church. I may have even scoffed a time or two at their lack of religious devotion. I have seen them retrieve their morning paper in their bath robes, having no intention of getting to a local place of worship. Maybe they didn’t know the Lord; maybe they had tried church and it seemed a big waste of time–and maybe I looked at them with envy. I must admit, I have to ask the question: is going to church this morning worth it? Will I find warmth there, acceptance, grace, patience and friendship? God knows we all need it, desperately. Judgement is cheap and easier to dole out than the costly commitment to walk along side a brother or sister who is having a hard time. I know full well the tendency to avoid the time-consuming effort of helping those in need.

So, as I pulled the sheets over my shoulder and wrestled with the temptation to stay there for a while longer, I resisted and rolled out of bed. Even as a professional Christian, I lose focus on why I go to church, what brought me here in the first place, and what is it that we can do to better serve our communities for Jesus. Guilt won’t do it, and “Mama said so” won’t do it.

I need to reconnect with the force that brought me to that Christian coffee house in 1975 when I was 15. I received Christ there because I felt the love of Jesus through the people who invited me. It wasn’t a traditional religious setting, just an old house set up to host Bible studies, serve coffee and stale donuts, and to meet people’s spiritual needs. If those things aren’t present in our churches this coming Sunday, we’d do better to roll over and catch a few more minutes of sweet sleep.