Some of the most uncomfortable moments for me is when I see a person struggle with stuttering. Most people don’t know the horror if they themselves haven’t been stuck in a verbal loop with onlookers waiting for a complete sentence to make it out of their mouths. I was a stutterer for many years, as was my dad’s brother, Uncle Jack. I guess we never fully heal from the social scourge of stuttering. We are like alcoholics: recovering on a daily basis.

Mel Tillis is known for his stuttering as much as his singing. Moses was said to have had the defect, and relied on his brother Aaron to communicate for him. Aesop (of fable fame), the emperor Claudius, and the orator Demosthenes, were all strapped with the stutter affliction. Most children who stutter usually outgrow it by their teens. Some, however, carry the speech defect into adulthood.

Stutterers, because they are verbally quick on their feet, are rather  resourceful. Their survival depends on finding other ways to say the  same thing to avoid the dreaded stammer. Consonants, those pesky varmints, are what we stutterers avoid at all costs–anything in the language that stops the flow such as the  T, D, P and K sounds– serious sentence killers! Vowels are our friend. If we had only vowels in the English language there would be no stuttering.

Some say singing your words is a cure. That can be true. But have you ever experienced someone singing their sentences to you in a conversation? That’s just weird and probably more awkward than stuttering. The biggest help for me is to just slow down. If we record ourselves talking slow enough to get the words out, and listen back, it sounds fairly normal. Many times we think that people are less patient in conversation than they actually are. If I take a deep breath, relax, and form each syllable, usually I can speak as though no verbal challenge even existed. Isn’t it ironic that all the famous folks aforementioned were(or are) renowned communicators?

The next time you experience a stutterer, just be patient and don’t try to finish their sentences for them. They might be only a consonant away from uttering, “Hey, look out for that poisonous snake!”

I was reminded of my son Joshua’s baby blanket recently. The last time we saw it several years ago, it was in tatters. By the time Brenda cut the worn areas away back in the day, Blankie was probably 4 square inches in size. It still did the trick for a toddler who’s main intention was to feel the softness of the cotton and the synthetic silk edging against his face while he sucked his thumb. Now married and far removed from his security blanket, Josh has little or no memory of Blankie.

Some of us haven’t moved on from the security we find in our comfort zones. Everyone has them. From out-dated hair styles to the fear of changing careers, we scamper to the nearest handle bar that we have created for ourselves. We hold on tight to that which we know and trust to come through with the familiar results that our comfort zones have always provided. A friend of mine often says that when his management position at a restaurant caused frustrations, he always found himself going back to the grill–back to the part of his job that he knew he was good at doing. His new job as manager took him into new areas of the hospitality business that were very challenging. “Back to the grill” has become a catch-phrase for me when I do the same thing in my own life. The “grill” can be replaced by any “security blanket” with which we cling. Fear of failure is the monster that usually forces us to retreat.

The problem with safety zones (the exceptions being wisely respecting red traffic lights and refraining from sticking one’s hand into a lion’s cage, as well as many more of the like…) is that we usually run backward to find them. They are mileposts in life that we trust but are, nevertheless, in the past. When we keep moving forward in life we will continually face resistance. Pushing through challenges can be painful and exhausting. But when we do come out on the other side, we are better for it.

I have made some tough life-decisions in the past year including losing weight and getting healthy; to stop biting my nails; to do a CD of new songs with my buddy Gary Sadler; delving even deeper into my desire to serve our church through the gifts God has given me. These things might seem rather simple to some. But the decisions were made knowing that resistance stood in the way of their accomplishment. I am not saying that I have conquered fear, but I am rejoicing in the new vistas that are before me these days. Brenda’s happy, too.

My idea of “tough guy” has changed over the years. I used to envy the kid at school who had everybody’s respect by pushing them around and being a bully. The word sissy comes to mind for anyone who would not respond to his provocations. Now as an adult, I am learning the skill of restraint as Jesus taught when He referred to Himself as “meek and lowly” in Matthew 11:28, 29:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart (meek & lowly), and you will find rest for your souls.”

Rest for my soul sounds like a great goal to achieve in this crazy, stress-filled world. Jesus’ pathway to rest seems like it would lead to strife instead. But Jesus always provoked His audience with truth–many times through the use of opposites. He usually preached what was unexpected. That was especially true in the political climate of His day where the “logical” conclusion to the difficulties strapped upon the Jewish population by the Roman government was to retaliate. Jesus challenged His listeners to rethink their response through the message of the Sermon on the Mount, found in Matthew, chapters 5 through 7.

Matthew 5:5 is where we find Jesus’ statement from the Beatitudes, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” The Greek word for meek is praus. Many mistakenly presume that to be meek is to be a push-over. The opposite is true. There is one definition from a study of the word that , to me, stands out the most. It is the image of a rancher and his broken colt. A colt is wild and not useful to his owner until it is brought under control. The taming of a wild stallion is a stronger picture. If being meek is like a reigned-in stallion, then the actual conclusion can be made that: he who is meek represents power under control.

The opposite of meek is weak. I am useful to God when my life is reigned-in and under His control. Jesus was the greatest example of power under control. When He could have retaliated against His aggressors, He chose to restrain Himself in favor of a higher purpose. I am continuing to discover new insights into this rebel, Jesus. His message to the world usually confounds the wise. But I will continue to learn from Him because His teaching brings rest to my weary soul.

At 50 years old, I’m still learning to follow Jesus like a kindergartner. There are things in life that keep popping up. And like most lessons, I don’t enjoy the process. I realized this week that, through some personal struggles that have bogged me down lately, emotion isn’t a very reliable leader. Wisdom must lead and emotions will follow.

I have made some spiritual decisions lately that defy any earthly sense I have. When in a quandary as to what to do or how to turn, I know that the greatest wisdom lies in God’s view point of the situation. He sees from the advantage of being the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He has love and concern for me and a greater purpose and plan for my life. I am reminded that I have been placed here at this time, in this hemisphere, with a set of skills that are unique and a specific calling and duty to fulfill as a team player for His greater eternal initiative.

I have always understood virtue, in the classical Greek definition, as the true purpose or design for an object (In other words, a hammer is for hammering nails and a screw driver is for setting screws, etc. Using them for other purposes defies the designer’s deliberate intention). If I operate within His purpose and design for me, then I am virtuous in the truest sense of the word. When I am virtuous, I am fulfilling my God-assignment– in the right place, at the right time, for His bidding.

My problem is that my flesh wants to run from where I know He’s leading me. God doesn’t concern Himself with time or my propensity to get restless. I have to believe, as I said earlier, that emotion is a poor leader. His wisdom is telling me to hang on. He also assured me that there is a reward in store. But obedience toward His Word defies everything that my earthly eyes perceive. Even so, I know I need to follow His truth and wisdom. I’ve seen it over and over again: after I set my direction and follow Him, the feelings follow. But Lord, don’t make me wait too long!

I watched a documentary last night about Jimi Hendrix. He was playing a Fender Stratocaster. George Harrison of the Beatles played one, too. Buddy Holly made the Strat iconic and stirred the hearts of future guitar-slingers to one day get their own. Buck Owens and Don Rich, the twang masters from Bakersfield, both played the Stratocaster’s big brother, the Telecaster. Fender guitars in the golden era were dreamed up, assembled and shipped out to the world from a factory in my home town of Fullerton, California, by a guy who also grew up there–Leo Fender.

Electric guitars are out front, strapped to the shoulders of their players, there for all to see. But the little box that makes the electric guitar sing is often hidden in the back line, away from the eyes of the audience. These little noise makers, called amplifiers, were actually the first thing Leo Fender, inventor and proprietor of Fender Musical Instruments until 1965, took an interest in. He didn’t invent the guitar amplifier but certainly brought them to a new level when electric and steel guitarists came into Leo’s Fullerton shop to see if he, a radio repair guy, could fix them. The placement of the electronics many times made the amps very difficult to service. He then decided to create his own amps that would incorporate his client’s tonal preferences with accessibility for future maintenance. Preferring the solitude of his work bench, he wandered out of the shop on occasion to see musicians in action and pick their brains as to what they desired in an instrument and amplifier. He was even known to walk on stage during a performance and adjust an amp while the guitarist was playing! The functionality of classic Fender designs were brought about through collaboration between Leo, his associates, and many working musicians.

After 1965, when Fender was sold to the entertainment company, CBS, the Fender name remained but the quality began to suffer dramatically over the years. The amplifiers created during Leo’s tenure are passionately sought after today for their tone and collectible value. My first amp was a Fender, as was my first “real” guitar. I have an affinity for single-coil pickups (Fenders are known for single-coils as Gibsons are famous for humbucker pickups). The designs of those “tweed” amps of the 50’s were so well made they are still being played today on stages and in studios around the world–some operating with their original parts.

My desire to have an actual Fender Tweed Deluxe was met last week…well, sort of. Fender has put out re-creations of their tweed amps in the past, to mixed reviews. But Victoria Amp Company, an Illinois manufacturer, has lovingly re-created a painstakingly-accurate Fender Deluxe with the 5E3-type circuit as a part of their Tribute Tweed Amp series. So, I will enjoy a little piece of home with my new Victoria 20112. She will sit next to her new friend, the Dr. Z Maz 18 Jr., in my studio. I guess the Deluxe and I have some things in common: we were both conceived in Fullerton, born to play guitar, and are deeply proud of our heritage.

Top: My new Victoria 20112 with a Telecaster

Above: Leo Fender